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Consciously show them that your love for them is eternal, their faults inclusive. Parents should try taking a cue from the prodigal son’s father.

They won’t open up if they feel doing so will make your love for them wane or change. The fear of being judged for one evil, neglecting all the good they have done or can do, can make your teenager hide from you. They are even more prone to making mistakes because of their age. That is probably the worst feeling in the world. Their attitude towards me would change, I’ll be blacklisted: That moment when someone close, a friend, or even family begins to look at you differently because of something you’ve done. In trying to understand, listening, really listening is the first step you need to take. Just listen, don’t try to make sense of it at first because it might not make sense. “How would you have wanted to be heard and understood then?” Your children feel the same way or maybe even more. While the times have changed, we were all once teenagers. And they need ears that listen like it all matters. They want to say the big things and the little things. All these are quite a lot for a growing mind and body. Teenagers go through a lot: physical changes, school workload, the increasing pressure to be socially acceptable. Ears that don’t talk back, interrupt, or change the subject but just listen. More often than not, all they need are just listening ears. They wouldn’t listen or try to understand: Teenagers like everyone else yearn to be heard.

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They should also try to create an open and safe environment free from any form of prejudice. Parents might want to try watching out for how they react to things their teenagers say or do. Most times, all it takes is one wrong look, word, or action to make them retract into their shells. Teenagers are no different in fact, they are even more sensitive to this feeling. I feel like they will judge me: Everyone, parents included, can relate to this feeling of not wanting to open up or share thoughts, opinions, or experiences with someone else for fear of being condemned or looked down upon for making certain choices or thinking in a certain way. Why I don’t always share what’s on my mind with my parents: This article is also an answer, a personal answer to the question of why I don’t always share what’s on my mind with my parents and what they can do to find out. The question of why parents can’t seem to understand their teenagers has and will still be answered in different ways over time. It’s incredible how this one word means different things from different perspectives. My parents: “Those incredible humans I love but are always in my hair and can’t seem to understand me most of the time.” Parents/Guardians: “Those who raise or facilitate the upbringing of a child from birth to independent adulthood.” (Healthy Place, 2019).